Publisher Clemenzo Perrier permits me to submit my recommend component list as an entity separate from those of my lowborn colleagues. Had I judged Publisher Perrier my social equal, I would of course thank him, but as he isn’t, of course I won’t. Let us recall the definition of a gentleman: one who never gives offense unintentionally. Enough of these frivolities! Off to the races (the Sport of Kings)!

Loudspeaker:

On a hillside in the Côte d’Azur overlooking a private blue inlet with its snow-white sands upon which recline nude young women with perfect breasts and porn-cut shrubs sits a small manufactory in the shade of blossoming lemon-lime trees within which androids with IQ’s in excess of 160 assemble Le Dernier Cri, a loudspeaker rich in innovations. Le Dernier Cri is without crossovers. The added absence of drivers and an enclosure assures the discriminating purchaser that the usual audio vulgarities are nowhere in evidence. One sits in the Sweet Spot and imagines. As an added appeal to exclusivity, Le Dernier Cri’s pricetag is three-quarters of a meter long. The speakers are delivered as matched pairs by small, cupid-like creatures on wings of song.

Amplifier:

From God’s Mouth, an SET measured, at clipping, at a half-watt’s output at total harmonic distortion. A Japanese import. In place of the customary point-to-point wiring we see within most SETs are pages from the I-Ching, The Book of Changes, hand-written and illustrated by Zen masters on ochre rice paper flecked with splinters of missionary crucifixes and bits of calfskin Bible bindings. From God’s Mouth’s single vacuum tube is a one-off prototype of a subsequently abandoned 1927 design. The amplifier’s chassis is made of hammered silver set with lapis lazuli, jasper and carnelian lozenges. As the perfect companion piece to Le Dernier Cri, From God’s Mouth need never be powered, thus sparing the vacuum tube, resembling a Deco cocktail shaker, from the stress that invariably accompanies use. Price upon request. An integrated version, From God’s Mouths, is also available.

Analogue Front End:

In order to accommodate the above in the style it demands, my recommended analogue front end is entirely sculptural in nature (ergo non-functional), consisting as it does of a flawless, clear quartz disc one foot in diameter, with a large pearl at its center in lieu of the spindle hole. A golden wand resembling a several-times-sharpened No. 2 pencil occupies a radius, with, in deference to the possibility of inner-groove distortion, an inch and-a-half of free space between the pearl and the wand’s terminus.

The usual clutter of power cords and cables need not trouble us. We’ve achieved perfection not in their absence but because of their absence. If you were lucky enough to be me, you’d have no trouble grasping this concept’s elegance. But you’re not, so please go away. I need to have a little lie-down on that snow-white beach.

But I’ll be back.